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TO EXPRESS MYSELF.

Like how I feel right now. I am possibly going to implode or throw things. I just finished my law exam, which I was so confident for because I studied an insane amount, and guess what? Everything he told us to study was not on the exam. Doubtful that I did well, I'm honestly so depressed about this. My morale and motivation dropped exponentially.

Teppanyaki should make this better. I should take an hour break and go get some, yes.

I wanna get you alone.

[;;]I haven't updated in a while, but expect this one to be short for I should really be studying for at least 72 hours straight right now.

[;;] Did I mention that I saw Sherlock Holmes on the 26th of December? Yep, with five other people, since I went with three friends and then we happened to see two guys we knew. It was amazing... I wish I had the time to describe it, but if you ever want to chat about it I'M ON TUMBLR. Or here in comments. Since then I've watched it about five more times. Fuck yeah for HQ streaming.

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[;;] This week has been pretty shit. The surprising high point was watching The Holiday. I know, that sounds so so embarrassing, but take into account it was Tuesday morning at 2:20AM and I wanted to see a chick flick, which I rarely am in the mood for. It almost made me want to change my outlook on love. It also made me want to be British. I burst into tears at this one point... it was not one of my finer moments. JUDE LAW IS GORGEOUS, OK?

[;;] Tomorrow is Rebecca's birthday. That being said HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET THIS FAR IN LIFE. Really, I would be nowhere without you if I hadn't started talking to your mum in an autograph line. I also appreciate that you come out of hiding for me in MSN, and I even won't mind if you call me marmar, but only because it's your birthday and I'm nice to a fault. I LOVE YOU GIRL <3

Jude Law is kind of great.

why I love Jude LawCollapse )
P.S. just thought i'd post something small, because I didn't want to completely abandon LJ, but at the same time, this week is hectic, so I won't be able to be on until after school ends. Expect a full update Friday though =)

tangled up in blue.

+ Last week was amazing. I applied for a scholarship and my favourite teacher wrote me a reference letter that actually brought me to tears. It's really something when someone who you admire says great things about you. Everything just seemed so fantastic that last week of November, and I just can't say the same for today. Today has been horribly depressing and I've been so nervous and angry since approximately 2:20PM. Since around 4, the anger turned into a sort of dull depression. Everyone told me this girl was a double-crossing, back-stabbing smug bitch, and now I'm actually starting to see it. Not to mention, I'll absolutely cry if she gets chosen for the scholarship instead of me. I'm taking higher level courses!

+ I'm debating on whether or not to post my M/A fic on the comms at LJ. Or if I should wait and find a beta.

+ I have a philosophy reflection to finish! UGH. This may be the last one though, which is always good news. Also, Voltaire ftw.

+ So many projects, so little time! I feel like school is taking over my life D:

+ May be going to Western U on Friday, which will be exciting. I'll definitely have to remember to bring my camera if I go. I want pictures! As excited as I am, it seems so pointless visiting all these other universities when I've got my heart set so firmly on attending the England campus of Queen's.

You can do no wrong.

I can't believe I just wrote a one-shot Arthur/Merlin HP crossover while I'm supposed to be at a birthday.

Well, in five years time...

I'm so excited.

Tomorrow morning at 8:30AM, the grade twelves have a mandatory presentation/seminar in the cafeteria to acquire registration codes and learn how to apply for universities online. I told my dad I was absolutely psyched, but he just didn't get it. "It's just another assembly, maria". He doesn't get that it's a step further to the rest of my life, apparently. But come tomorrow afternoon at 2:30pm when I get home from school, I can begin applying for universities. I've narrowed my choice down to three separate universities (but technically 4, since the "fourth" is an extension/alternate campus for another option)

1. Queen's University Herstmonceaux Castle in Sussex, England.
>That's my number one choice. ENGLAND. Well, a Canadian university with a campus in England, but honestly, I've read so many brochures, as well as talked to so many students who have done the program and it sounds absolutely phenomenal. Also, I know what I want to study and what I'm interested in, so for myself, I can't picture anything better.

2. Queen's University.
> The one in Canada, obviously. I went there way back in October and I honestly did like it. The Arts library was fantastic and there was such a sense of community there that I didn't get from the University of Toronto or York. Not to mention, the people had such spirit, an array of facilities and HARRY POTTER THEMED DORM.

3. University of Toronto
> To be honest, this one is simply on my list because my dad went there, and is therefore pressuring me to do the same. I thought the dt campus was lovely, but the people just seemed so... well, not the same as Queen's. Where I got a community feeling from Kingston, everyone at the UofT just seemed very "whatever, get lost, yeah?". Apparently, it's very good for history though, which is what I'm looking to study.

4. Western
> I have yet to visit the campus, but I'm about to book one of those private tours they have open to prospective students. The presentation they gave at my high school was so good though! The spokesperson for the school was the most hilarious Scottish person I've ever met! He was exactly like my Scottish doctor, middle-aged with a sense of humour ! Not to mention, he made such a convincing case to go to Western. I can't wait to see the school.

But yeah, those are my choices and I can't wait to see if I actually get accepted to any by Feb-May! Aside from that, I handed in my history CPT essay today. Honestly, wish me luck with that thing. I worked so hard on it for days and I still didn't feel confident. *sigh* November's are so busy!

p.s. Canada, WHY AREN'T YOU SNOWING YET?
Guys, honestly, I'm about to cry.

I have a major essay (which we honestly didn't get enough time for) due wednesday, along with a test monday and tuesday.

Not to mention, I've missed last night's Merlin and the Doctor Who Special is on tonight.

So I think I'm going to work really hard starting @ 12:00pm and work up until 10:20pm and then watch some TV to cool down. I won't fall asleep 'till around 2am.

Then I'm thinking taking a mental health day (to work on my essay) tomorrow, until 4th period is the best course of action.
Repeat for Tuesday.

So please feel free to either kill me or leave encouraging thoughts in comments?
Love you all.

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